I enjoyed the story, but there are some issues I had with some parts of it. On the first page there is no explanation as to why the mention of a girlfriend is the "kiss of death". Also I wish it was clearer as to why the narrator was hitching back across the country and why he had gone across the country in the first place.
On the second page there is an issue I have with the section about Gabe "romancing" the narrator and the feeling of "intimacy". Is this something the narrator wants or does he just suspect it? What role does this really play in the story.
The last issue I have is on the fourth page when the discussion of drugs comes into play. What does this have to do with the story. It only seems like it is there to segway into a random back story about Gabe.
There were also things I like about this story. I thought it was really well written and a lot of the word choices were very unique. In the first paragraph there is the sentence that says, "as light and hope were draining from the day." This is such a different way to describe nightfall that really caught my attention.
Also on page five, the whole paragraph about the crooning is so out of character, but it fits in the story so well and describes Gabe in a different light than the reader has previously seen. It was a nice touch to the story.
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I agree with some of your comments on the Whippoorwill story. I also had trouble understanding the whole idea of Gabe "romancing" the narrator. Was the narrator just paranoid? I felt this sort of came out of nowhere and went nowhere as well. I also agree that there were a lot of descriptive scenes with great imagery.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think before about the crooning being out of character and how it effected the story, but now that you point it out I find the whole scene really interesting because it led to the ending.
These are all good observations—yours, Collene, and Sandy's in her comments. I was a bit worried at first when you started out with "I enjoyed the story" thinking you would leave it at that and not specify.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the "kiss of death" is concerned, my interpretation is that the question about a girlfriend is interpreted by the hitchhiker as a possible homosexual overture: a reasonable fear, given the vulnerability of someone in that position.
As for the crooning being "out of character," in a way I think that's the whole point--that each of us has a "secret self" that isn't or isn't always in character, and here Gabe's private/secret self is accidentally exposed, which of course makes him resentful.
A good start to what promises to be a good blog.
I think you asked a lot of good questions. A lot of the issues you had with the story I did too. The issue about why the narrator was hitching back across the country and why he had gone across the country in the first place. I was curious about too but he never mentions it at all but does say he is sometimes lonely. Wouldn't the answer be to stop traveling but we never know?
ReplyDeleteYour other issue about the guy thinking that Gabe wanted anything more than friendship was a big issue with me too. Couldn't 'do you have a girlfriend' just be a conversation starter not a come on?